So Far Still Trying

Alright so I know it hasn't been long, but I wanted to keep thinking on my goals and such.

After work week one, no research.  Now I'm not exactly downtrodden about that.  It wasn't a typical week.  With weather adjustments and major neuroses about my new prep I'm letting it go.  I need to do that more.  I still suck at not taking everything to heart.

Foam rolling OMG.  Love. Love. Love it.  I've been trying to foam roll right before bed, but I also did it today when I got back from my long run.  So relaxing.

Training for my half has started.  I stuck to my training mostly.   I did end up cutting back a couple of my short runs so that I could go to fitness classes.  Without running outside the track and the treadmill are just so boring.  I really appreciated the variety.  Now I'm not so sure if I'm able to get up at 4:45 to get in a full 3 miles before fitness class. Had a good 7 miles for a long run.  The first part was slow and rough, but I had a great last few miles.  I had really hit the zone.

Food choices for little one have been going forward.  She actually picked out black berries at the store tonight since they were out of blue berries.  She was really excited about this until they were on the plate... just need to keep showing her things.

I was able to lift weights after interval training this week as well as go to ab bootcamp and have some strength training during spin.  It was nice.  The plan for tomorrow is cross training to keep the muscles moving so I'm going to try to convince little one to do a work out video with me.

Food for me.  I've done a good job so far this week in making better choices.  I did indulge tonight in some peanut butter cake, but I figured that 7 miles could buy me a sweet.  The best part is that so far I haven't felt like I was always hungry and I even remember to plan snacks!

I just wanted to check up on me.

Goals for 2014

1) Actually adhere to a few hours of research a week for work. I do decently at this until I get behind then I drop all motivation to do this like a bad habit.

2) Add foam rolling to my bedtime routine.  This will be a few minutes just for me, every day.

3) Run my first half marathon.  Start training next week.  I'm scared and excited and scared.

4) Actively involve little one in food choices.  I want to really focus on expanding her willingness to try food so that she eats more of what we eat.

5) Build some muscle.  I'd really like to focus on my arms and abs.  The abs for running speed and arms because of total vanity. Ab bootcamp for the abs and I'm working on an arm plan.

6) Eat for fuel.  I don't make hideous food choices.  I'm fairly good at maintaining my weight, but I could stand to loose 10 unnecessary pounds.  More importantly with the running I'm going to be doing I need to be more deliberate about eating things that will keep me full and motivated instead of fatigued and sugary goodness.  I'm not giving up all of anything, but I want to choose more fruits, vegetables, and whole grains.

I thing that's it for now, but that is a pretty intense list.

Clarity

If you had asked me if the Holidays were stressful, I would have told you no.  Christmas went well.  No big plans for New Years. Keeping daughter's birthday party low key.  Just friends and their kids for food and sweets.  Spending the weekend away with the grandparents for their part of her birthday.  

However, I'm still feeling the overwhelmed like I did at the end of the semester.  

Seriously, I need to be better at balance.  

I'm in complete avoidance mode.  I've got prep for Spring.  I've got prep for birthday. All I want to do is nothing.  

Okay, enough wallowing.  Time to get on track.  

1) Half marathon training is officially starting on Jan 6.  I need to get my butt on plan (and myself at the gym for me).

2) This week I get back to fueling my body better.  

3) I need to figure out a schedule for cleaning the house. Lately the whole one day of cleaning is feeling like punishment.  

4) I need to take care of me.  Period. End of statement.  This blog might help me to do that. At least that's what I'm thinking so here it goes. 

zombies

It is difficult to admit to myself that the summer is on the downslide.  We have started our busy time of travels before school starts once again.  It feels like craziness. 

I finally completed the event that pushed me to start running the zombie 5K.  It was crazy.  Husband and I started by climbing a muddy hill.  After a short jaunt we faced a field full of zombies.  Then more mud, more hills, more zombies, a balance beam, and lots of mud all before mile one was over.  I kept my one of my three flags until just after mile one.  The entire thing was a trip.  I huffed, laughed, screamed…. I had two favorite zombie.  There was one zombie who while I was sprinting, just chose to pace with me and yell.  I screamed back because it was such a trip to be chased like that.  I also appreciated the Goku zombie.  While I HATE dragonball Z, the guy had fun with it.  The zombie carried wild flowers and offered them to all of the female runners.  When we faced this zombie for the second time, he was offering the flowers again.  I exclaimed, “No I will not go out with you.  I didn’t want to go out with you the first time.” The zombie then threw down the flowers and tried to lunge for me.  It was awesome.  Little miss had her first “Big Adventure at Grandma and Grandpa’s.” She stayed with the grandparents alone while we ran the 5K. While she won’t admit it, she had a great time too. 

I am off the wagon for the ab challenge it was just really hard to keep it up while traveling so much. However, I did finish my quiet book for our long trip.  I have yet to show it to little miss so it may or may not be much of a hit.  I had fun making it though.

Alright I should probably try to make a syllabus or something productive.  Or read world War Z. 

Challenges Accepted.

Alright I am going to officially sign up for another 10K in October.  I'm never going to convince myself to keep my mileage if I don't have some extra motivation to kick my own butt.  I received my foot pod last week so I can use my fancy gps watch indoors.  I love it.  It is just more accurate than the tredmill and then I can just set it and forget it.  I also have a date with my running buddy for long runs on Monday nights so that we can kick our own butts.

Next challenge.  I  am on my third day of the 30-day Ab Challenge.  I saw it on a facebook thing I follow and I'm curious to whether I can pull it off.  Especially since I know I do have super weak abs.  Always have and a c-section sure didn't help.  My abs hurt already so this will be an adventure.

Last challenge, I'm going to make my daughter a quiet book.  Yes, I am not crafty.  I know it.  I used to embroider so I know I can hand sew where I need to.  I found a really nice diagram for some of the things I want to do http://www.serving-pink-lemonade.com/2011/01/quiet-book-templates.html I don't plan on going crazy, I'll be using fabric glue and such.  However, I just couldn't find something pre-made that I wanted and the coolest ones on etsy were WAY more than I wanted to spend.  I'm going to stick to an animal theme.  I want pages with button flowers, zippers, lacing, snaps, and buckles.  I might try to figure out something that would involve twisting bottle caps- which is the most advanced that I'm thinking.  I just think that this will really help us out when we are in the car on the way to Wyoming.

Timmy!

To quote a good friend, Timmy the tapeworm is hungry.  I have been starving lately.  Just constantly want to eat.  Now part of it is my normal, I love sweets/snacking it is summer and I want sweets more kind of thing.  However, during the afternoon I’m starving.  Right before supper I’m dying. 

Now I am watching my calorie intake somewhat.  I’ve got about 10 lbs that I would not be sad if it left my frame.  However, I’m not trying real hard to lose that 10 lbs because I am much fitter than I have been previously and so the look of the weight doesn’t bother me.  

I’m thinking my issue is that I’m not fueling correctly with my breakfasts and lunches to support my daily workouts.  So, I’m going to try to figure this out.  Something that will keep me fueled through my day without me snacking crazy like.  Also I realize that part of my issue is keeping hydrated.  I’m bad about drinking my water during the summer (I always drink water while I teach so typically I would have 16 oz a class).  I need to up that and be more cognizant.  

So I’m going to get back to using Myfitnesspal to log my food intake and keep track of what I am working out that is making me so hunger and what food is helping me to stay satisfied. 

Today’s joy- Blueberries.  Little miss loves them I do as well.  Blueberries and milk was a lovely snack while the little one was having quite time after a giant freak out.

Wisdom of Age- Goals

If you had asked my 16 year old self to run a 10K.  She would have laughed in your face.  She was busy with speech, choir, band, and playing horrible basketball. Why run when not being chased? 

If you had asked my 20 year old self to run a 10K.  She would have laughed in your face.  I'm too busy hanging out with my friends to do other stuff.  I barely made it to the gym otherwise.  There were daily games to be played, homework to do, and sleeping late to be done.

If you had asked my 30 year old self to run a 10K.  I would have laughed at you.  Now, in my defense, 30 year old me had new baby.  I was trying to get back into shape.  At least 30, I understood that I exercise could be fun and that exercise equals eating more cookies with less guilt.  I myself and running as an example when teaching Health Psychology of how I would never run.

What a difference 2 years makes...

Well, I get the joy of running now.  I like just shutting it all off and going.  Just like from any exercise, I get the energy from just doing it.  I love exercise.  I am probably healthier now than I was at 20.  I can definitely push my body harder- whether it is weights, running, or a class.

So it is summer and while summer is a time of relaxation to me summer is a time to get your head on straight.  Figure out what you want, devise a plan of how to get there so I've been reflecting lately.

1) Find next year's race.  I really enjoyed doing the 10K at the Fargo Marathon. It was wild.  Now I would happily run it again next year, but it is the same day as graduation (which I can't miss).  So I need to find a different race (hopefully, my running friend will come with me!).  Now comes the idea of what to run.  So we believed we wouldn't want to run a half marathon, but after running the 10K it does not seem so far off from possible.  After our race we discussed, a 2 year plan leading to the half.  We shall see.  I am toying with running the 10K at the Fargo Mini Marathon on October 19 (registration is $30 until 7/14).  Hey running friend, we'll talk.  I really like a goal.  For example, right now I am working on sprinting and speed drills for a Zombie 5K in July. 

2) Recovery.  So I know I don't take the best care of my body with pre-workout stretching or in the post-workout stretch.  I try and I do stretch, but sometimes my body just feels like I'm not giving it the recharge/stretch that it wants.  So this year, I'm going to figure this out.  Maybe a weekly yoga class.  Maybe longer scheduled stretching.  May sneaking in more stretching throughout my day.

3) Keeping it fresh.  I want to spend at least one day a week in an exercise class.  I like have somebody boss me around.  It forces me to push myself and do things I would not want to do on my own.

4) Reading. I didn't have much downtown this last semester.  And I'll be honest, I'm still suffering the ill effects of that.  I'm not feeling the "recharge" of summer yet and considering it is June that's not cool.  So tonight I read, a mindless book, one I've read before and it was glorious.  I need to find a night where I just curl up.

5) Bringing the ladies. I suck at taking time for myself.  I do.  I can admit that I suffer from working mom guilt.  So I need to find a few hours to be around my female friends.  This summer we have a plan to have kid hang out time, but I'm hoping to find a time during the school year too. 

6) Food.  Goal one.  Show little miss that you can choose more than peanut butter and jelly.  How through patience?  Following a more compacted menu instead of always eating something very different each week.  Goal two.  Keep us on the healthier side.  I want to up my veggies and control my snacking/desserts.  Oh how I love sweeties.  People think I joke about the whole exercise for cookies things.  NOT A JOKE!

7) The Joy.  I need to remember the daily joy that I have.  I get caught up in the have to's and the I didn't get that done's.  Today, husband and I got a hat fashion show from the Miss.  She grabbed a hat, then came over to us, would spin at Daddy's request, and then head of to get the next hat.  It was adorable. 

I think that's all I've got for now, but it's alot.

So I took the Semester Off....

I accidentally took the semester off from blogging.  I didn't do it purposefully, exactly.  I did it out of self preservation. 

Teaching a 3 credit overload is not so much fun.  Don't get me wrong.  I like the extra money, but I became overwhelmed and/or burned out from the semester way too soon.  It just felt like I couldn't keep up.  Too much to prep, too much to grade.  I'm not saying I would not do it again.  However,  I would much rather do it with classes I have taught before.  The one new prep make this hurt more. 

So I'm now into summer school.  I'm teaching a little more summer school than I thought I would.  Again, it is more money which is good.  And it is all relaxed scheduling of classes I have taught before.  I'm also beta testing my new Intro book for the fall which is working out pretty good. 

On the fitness front,  I can say it.  Here it is, out loud, for the internet.  I think I like running.  Okay, okay, I like running.  I like having a race to train for.  It keeps me motivated.  Don't get me wrong, sometimes I get super trapped in my head when on the track.  However, I feel very powerful when I push myself.  I also like races.  They are a nice challenge with others.  I never thought I would say this, but I think I might run a half marathon in the future.  I really thought I would die before saying that (and by no means will it be easy).

Where is all of this from? I ran my first 10K at the Fargo Marathon on May 18.  It was crazy.  There are so many people.  Even when you are not particularly fast (which is how I classify me, but I'm way faster than I thought), you always seem to be passing people.  It was rainy and my shoes were heavy and hard, but it was amazing.  Having that medal put around your neck is the neatest feeling.  I hope to run the 10K there again next year- that is, if the marathon weekend is not the same as graduation (I'm really hoping it is not).  My running friend and I are thinking maybe a two year plan to a half.  My husband swears that by the end of the summer, I'm going to think I'm big and could run a half next year.  I guess we'll see. 

I like how running is increasing my fitness. My body is holding weight so much differently now which is neat.  I'll like to loose a little more fat and put on some more muscle this summer, but we'll see how it goes. 

Health wise- it was  a rough semester full of colds.  And at the moment girlie's skin is killing me.  My daughter is all red faced and puffy. Apparently I picked the wrong type of sunscreen and well that's the result.  I know it could be worse.  I know she is just somewhat uncomfortable, but I HATE seeing her like this. It makes me super neurotic.  Hence, why I am blogging- it's called a distraction.  Okay, time to maybe focus though. 

Christmas

I survived the end of the semester.  It was close. I'm a little worried over next semester when I teach an overload.  I know it will be fine once I'm doing it.  Because then I won't be thinking, just going. 

I got ride of a paper in once class and added a presentation which will totally help.  I will keep the class I am most worried about with the burden on the students which will help me.  I will reign in my assignments outside of class for my writing intensive course.  I will remember that I have two wonderful students serving as my teaching assistants to help me. 

I'm enjoying my time off even though it has only been four days.  Starting tomorrow I'm going to try to make some head way during "naps."  My life will be so much easier if I start the semester ahead. 

Christmas went well.  Little one enjoyed her presents and had a great time. 

As I preview videos

As I preview videos for a lecture on Thursday, I am marveling in my accomplishments.  Once this lecture is complete, I will be done with my prep work for the semester. 
Then I have 25 papers left to grade and four tests to create.  It is coming together.  I will survive.  I will survive- hey hey!

Hot Mess

I'm totally a hot mess at the moment.  I'm stressed, I'm easy to anger, I'm easy to cry....

It's not a fun time in the semester and I'm not exactly handling it with grace and poise anymore.  I'm coping via coffee and running from zombies. 

So the good news is that on my run this morning, I escaped twice.  Which was fun.  I got to run to my new running list which was okay.  It started well, but I'm going to need to tweak things. 

So I am going to go home, cuddle a child and a kitten.  Eat left overs and play for a few hours.
Then I'm going to grade a few more papers.  Then I'm going to go to bed early. 

And tomorrow I will be closer to done with the stack of papers I have.  And I will try not to think about the second stack that I get tomorrow. 

I can do this.  I can do this. 

Work Out Challenge

So it is back to running for me.  My friend and I are going to push ourselves and run a 10K in May. Now that's a long way from now, but I'm hoping to not feel like dying from running outside.  So it is now game on.  I'm thinking I need to run two to three days a week so I can get back in the swing of things. 
Now to help myself, I have done two things.  I purchased, Zombies, Run! which is epic.  I ran to it today and it was a great fun.  When it is not super late (and I have time) I'll talk more about it.
And I started http://sweatforacause.com/challenge/55 I was called a wussy by a co-worker so I said game on.  I'm excited about kicking her butt. 

Last thankful & overwhelmed

So I missed one last day of thankfulness.  I am thankful for sleep.  I need more than I get, but I am grateful for how easily I fall asleep.

So I am fraying at the seams right now.  I’m only prepped for part of Tuesday.  I’ve got a giant stack of papers to grade.  I’m totally freaking out.  I don’ t know how I’m going to find the time and I want to be super avoidant about it (hence this post)…. Okay enough.  Time to work.

11/29

Today I am thankful for boy scouts, girl scouts, and 4-H. 

To be honest, I'm thankful for boy scouts due to the arrival of delicious popcorn on my door step.
However, in general I'm thankful for the great experiences I had in girl scouts and 4-H and the volunteers who made it possible. 

Thankfulness Day 28

Today was a very long day. 

It was also not a very fun day.  I was the bearer of news that I didn’t want to be.  My work computer stopped being able to charge. I taught  my discussion based class where my students are feeling quite lazy and unwilling to discuss.  Now, discussion went well today, despite my worries-but I was in a funk.   I didn’t really get as much done as I had hoped.  I had to yell at my freshman for being horribly distracting while my TA taught class.  I am exhausted and I don’t want to continue to work tonight (but I will when I’m done writing this). 

Now that is my Debbie Downer talking and I don’t want the rest of my day to be colored by that. 

So today I am going to find all of my thankfulness.

I am thankful for a tough workout.  Even though my body aches everywhere it was great and I would not change it. 

I am thankful for understanding friends.  No one ever wants to be the bearer of bad news, especially to people they care about.  Thank you for being a wonderful person.

I am thankful for my TA.  My TA noticed I in a horrible mood and having a bad day.  He told me after teaching that he just wanted  to do a good job so my day would be easier. 

I am thankful for little kids.  Today I got to have breakfast with my friend’s Little Miss who told me all about how she was going to ask Santa for a doll house and Barbies. She made my day better.  Then this evening I got to have a jumping party with my daughter and husband.  What is a jumping party you might ask?  Well, my girlie just recently learned how to jump and she loves it, but she likes you to do it with her.  So we all held hands and jumped.  For the record, I am also thankful for stopping because after the morning workout, squatting and jumping is HARD WORK. 

I am thankful for Amazon.  Seriously, how did my parents ever shop for me when I was old enough to know what was going on without the internet?  Amazon has been dropping Christmas goodies at the house all week and I’m excited for everyone to open them. 

I am thankful for cuddles with kittens and one minute peanut butter cake.  No explanation necessary. 

I am thankful for running.  So I just threw up in my mouth a little saying that, but let me explain.  I still hate running, but I can admit that I feel very accomplished when I do it.  A friend and I are running a 10K in May.  I keep writing that a lot lately so we don’t chicken out. 

And lastly for today, I am thankful for my work ethic. Because even though I am tired, even though I don’t wanna, I’m going to do a little work so I can feel better about work stress.

Thankful Day 27

Today I am thankful for laughter.  Today was stressful.  There is alot to get done at this point in the semester (and it's slow going).  However, I got to share a laugh with many people.  I was sarcastic, I watched silly movies, and shaked my bootie with my daughter. 

Thankful 25 & 26

On Day 25, I am thankful for my own bed.  We had a wonderful week of travels.  A great time with friends and kids in St. Cloud.  Then a peaceful Thanksgiving with parents.  Pecan pie! Then I got to help a friend find her wedding dress.  She'll be even more beautiful than normal on her wedding day, but there is nothing like being home.

On Day 26, I am thankful for Christmas.  I love putting up Christmas lights, wrapping presents, and making my daughter smile at the lights.  I love the seeing the miracle!

Thankfulness- Planning ahead

We are soon off for a week of travel to friends and family so I'm going to think ahead on my thankfulness.

Day 16: Books.  They are my drug and I adore them.

Day 17: Phones. Today my daughter decided she wanted to call Grandma and Grandpa so we did.  They got cute voicemails of talking and button pushing.

Day 18: Games.  Board games, cards, all wonderful.

Day 19: Pictures.  I love having photos of my family, especially those who are not with us.

Day 20: Christmas trees!!!

Day 21: Christmas lights!!!

Day 22: Imagination.  I'm glad that little girl thinks that measuring cups are drinking cups and that monkeys can fly.

Day 23: Relaxation!  Enough said.

Day 24: Dress shopping.  Today I get to help a friend go wedding dress shopping!  Hurrah.