Next One

One) Doctors should not be allowed to send letters about a condition unless everything is fine and smiles.  Otherwise, that is just cruel because you get a letter, probably after hours, and then you flip out because you wouldn't know exactly what the jargon means anyway (Or would not believe).

Two) No, I didn't exactly get that letter.  It's in the mail... I found out about my ultrasound today.  I called yesterday to find out more, but they didn't call me back.  After waiting for most of today, I got frustrated and called again. I learned that both my ovaries have cysts.  They still do not think that it is any big deal.  They want to get me in to have another ultrasound in two months.  I did a little mayo clinic internet research.  I now understand a little bit more about why the doctor would not be freaking out.  Apparently cysts are actually super common (which I suppose I should have recognized as I do know people who have cysts) and while there are cyst types that one should be super worried about this at least is not that.  

Three) So after all this, had the freak out of maybe Parker would be an only child due to all this.  Again, what information did I have to base this on?  None.  At the time, I knew very little and it was really just a freak out about having something wrong with me in general and/or something wrong with my ovaries.  We all take for granted that our internal workings are fine until we are blatantly confronted with evidence to the contrary.  I mean, no one wants to believe that anything will ever be wrong with them.  The weirdest part of that freak out is that I'm not sure if I want to have another child. I have extreme worries about a second pregnancy due to having a c-section.  I don't want to make that decision until little miss is closer to 2 and somewhat more independent.  I mean regardless of seeing little babies over the last week I don't really have baby fever.  I mean, yes, the babies were adorable and smell amazing (nothing like baby smell- it is crack), but I love my big girl dearly.  I shouldn't be surprised.  It's all about the psychology of control.  If you believe you have control over something, you feel better about it than if you believe you have no control.  Man, I hate it when knowing the psychology behind something is not actually comforting.
3) I'm done with worrying and self pity.  I indulged myself in that last week, but this week I refuse to go with it.  I'm training for a 5K.  Well, kinda.  I'm going to try to complete from couch to 5K.  I don't have a 5K in mind.  I'm just not a runner, but we were looking at doing a zombie 5K (it didn't work out this year), but we are going to try to do it next year.  I'm working out and losing weight to earn me the next season of True Blood that comes out at the end of May.  I have been way into spring cleaning.  I will be fine.  I will rise above.  And I will not dwell.  It is not worth my time. And the more I tell myself all of this, the more I will remind myself and make it true.  Self fulfilling prophecy for the win.